Okay all, I just want to let you know that this might be a little intense for some of you. I will be pretty detailed about some topics, but not in inappropriate ways. I need just to let this new found feeling out before I burst!
   I am angry at Satan right now... I am literally close to tears I am so mad. I was talking with my friend Jess after choir today, and we got down to some nitty-gritty stuff! I had been venting about the word someone gave me on Sunday and how it had made like half my life make sense. Then we got off on the topic of dreams and how we both have had dreams that end up coming true...but in a very hard to explain unless you have experienced way. And we started talking about some of the nightmares we have had. She then when into telling me about when she senses a demon or spirit she gets filled with anger, well I told her that I don't, I get filled with a fear that you can almost touch. I mean it is RIGHT THERE!!!! (The spirit) You can feel him/it standing with you. And it terrifies me to where I can do almost nothing.
   I am 18 and when that feeling comes along I still hide under my covers because I can not even get up to find my parents for help. So then she started giving me some advice as I start telling her how I have been getting some new revelations now that I am an adult, and even right there, I got a revelation about where this type of fear began in my life. And it all begins with a little story...
   When I was thirteen my little sister Gabrielle fell into a pond and was then considered brain dead. She was only fifteen months at the time, and within the first week my grandparent from Mississippi came up and took the other four kids down to be with them as my mom was at the hospital 99% of the time, as you can imagine. But it was somewhere in that week that (okay brace your self I am going to honest as well as detailed in some ways) while I was in the bathroom something walked by the door. This was a BIG thing that filled up the whole doorway going down the hall. At first I thought it was nothing, but if there is no fan in the hall and the heavy winter coats are moving what are you going to think?!? So I run to tell my mom, and she tells my dad when he gets back in the room from over the laundry. And this is when I new some thing had really been in there, he said that when he was trying to come up the stairs, that something tries to push him back down. And not like a little 'oh you can not come up', this was an 'I want to kill you'!
   And if my memory serves me well, I do not think that I had suffered from that kind of fear before then. But it sure hits me now, I firmly believe that it was that night that triggered this fear that I face almost every day. And now you are wondering where this whole righteous anger comes in?! I am ANGRY because at thirteen I did not know or even understand what was going on, and until tonight I have been held captive to that fear that I did not know I carried! I realize now what I have missed, and what I have lost forever because of it. But I declare that form this day on I will NO LONGER be controlled by that fear, the demonic fear, that took captive an innocent thirteen year old girl! And it is that anger that will thrust me forward in my prayers for my friends who struggle with that same issue.
   I just want to send a message out to anyone who reads this post. If you have a fear in you life of anything, you need to know that it is DEMONIC, and that it WILL steal from your life. It has mine and that is why I am so angry at Satan. The bible says he has come to steal, kill, and destroy, and that is exactly what he is doing in you life. You must be free from it, Jesus died so you could have life that was and IS full of joy and peace. But if you really want to be free from that you need to declare that "God has not given me a spirit of FEAR! But of LOVE, POWER, and of SOUND MIND." The bible says that,and it is talking about God and God cannot lie. You need to find some friends, mentors, or even parents who can pray and believe for as you break free from this bondage in your life.
   If you do not feel you can confide in anyone, I want you to know that I will be here for you, and you can contact me anytime. As you read I just broke free form this problem myself, so I can understand where you are coming from. Because you do not have to be afraid, you have the power of GOD working in you, through you, and for you. You have the right to tell those spirits to LEAVE in the name of Jesus. If you know the verse in the bible that says the word of God is like a two edged sword, you may not know that the sword referenced was a specific one (I heard this form a Pastoral source) that sward was a Roman sword that had a corkscrew like end to it where the romans used it to literally rip the insides of a person. If you can imagine that without getting sick , than imagine a two sided one that worked  on the spirit realm with the enemy...now that is powerful! But it is late and I got to get going, but know that JESUS LOVES YOU! And I care too, so call on me if you need me.

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